Friday, October 28, 2011

"Just Because"

These arrived at my office today



The card said "Just because"

Sometimes my man really gets it. Today was one of those days.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Moving On

Today was our last visit to the pediatric dentist.

Katelyn is 18 now and found it insulting to be going to a "kids" dentist.

So she will be going to the dentist Dave and I see.

Carson thinks he shouldn't have to see any dentist.

But since he doesn't get to make those decisions, he will be going to the dentist Dave and I see.

So Dave can drag Carson along when he goes to the dentist.

It was strange to say good-bye to people we have seen every 6 months for the last 10 1/2 years.

We said good-bye not because we didn't like their service or because we were moving out of the area.

We said good-bye because we out-grew them and are moving on.

I'm kind-of sad that today came. It was a reminder that the kids are getting older.

We'll miss you KidSmile Dental. It's been great knowing you.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Shadows

As I was eating lunch today I watched the shadows out my backdoor. My deck and backyard were bathed in beautiful sunlight. The trail behind my house was sunny and bright. But just beyond the trail was shaded and in a shadow. I know this is not the first time that I have seen shadow and sun juxtaposed next to each other. But as I watched the shadow today dissipate as the cloud moved ever so slightly and the area that had once been shaded become light, I reflected not only on the post written by friend, Jessica, but also my own life. The shadow and light became a metaphor for life.

On first impulse I thought about the shadow and light being like the old saying: "the light at the end of the tunnel". But I realized that it wasn't quite the same. I thought about my experience biking through a mile-long tunnel on the Hiawatha trail. When in that tunnel it was so dark that I really focused solely on the pinprick of light far in the distance. It was so dark that I couldn't really tell how others in the tunnel were doing. I just kept moving cautiously forward toward the light. And all the while everyone in the tunnel was communicating, encouraging the others forward. It was a relief once we all got to the light at the end of the tunnel.

One might think that just being in the shadow would be easier. After all, you can see everything. Ah, but sometimes it is just the ability to see everything that is the very problem. If being in the shadow is a metaphor for being depressed, feeling down, rejected, etc. seeing people out enjoying the light can be debilitating. The questions of self-doubt and fairness (why me? what's wrong with me? why do they get to enjoy the sun?) begin to creep in even more. And sometimes because the difference between the shadow and light is so subtle, those enjoying the sun may not realize that they are literally standing right next to someone who is in a shadow--just like what I observed out my backdoor today, one side of the trail was in the sun and the other in the shadow. People in the shadow of depression, self-pity, trials, challenges, whatever, need just as much encouragement, communication, prayer, as I did when I was in the dark tunnel. But because we can see each other, we might think all is well and forget about the importance of encouraging words and guiding communication.

But what Jessica (and I) discovered is that the shadow doesn't have to last forever; just the slightest shift in the cloud will let in light that will brighten what once was dark. And while we may not have power to shift the real clouds, we do have the power to shift the metaphorical clouds with God's grace. It will most likely take intentional work, concerted effort, and maybe outside help, but it can be done.

After typing this up I realize it made so much more sense in my head. I hope you were able to catch the gist of what I was trying to say.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

He Got One

Well, Dave had a very happy birthday.

He filled his deer tag.

The buck was pronounced dead at approximately 9 a.m.

Dave spent the next 4 hours gutting the deer and hauling it back to the truck.

He was a tired, but happy, birthday boy.



Sorry, Charlie, this is too big to make into a decoration.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Birthday Post: 41



No, this is not my 41st birthday post. It is actually how old the Man turns today. He is out doing manly things for his birthday. Mainly, he and his dad ventured back to the hunting grounds to try and kill a deer for meat this winter.

I don't want to gush on and on about how great he is so I'll just share a few pictures. I think the pictures illustrate the happiness he brings to his nuclear and extended families.




Carson really was happy in this picture. I just caught him between smiles.
Yeah, I pretty much hit the jackpot that night long ago when I sat down next to this wrestler from Elma. He's pretty great, balances my craziness, and makes me laugh almost every single day.

I love you man.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Trying Out a New Voice

Have you seen the Seinfield episode where the guys all comment on Elaine's boyfriend being a close-talker? The guy always had to be right up in their face when he talked with them. Well, I'm not a close-talker, but I am a loud-talker.

My mom says that up until 2nd grade I was a soft-spoken little girl. Then I had Mrs. McCartney as my 2nd grade teacher and she was a loud-talker. I wasn't the same after that year. I don't really remember Mrs. McCartney as a loud-talker, but I do remember that she spoke with authority and the class straightened right up when she spoke.

I liked the thought of speaking with authority so I guess subconsiously I adopted Mrs. McCartney's loud vocalization. Add to that, the fact that I grew up in a large, noisy family (there were 7 of us), and one might begin to understand why I became a loud-talker. My loud-talking gets worse (I mean louder) when I'm excited or passionate about something that I am speaking of.

But I've decided that if I can learn that trait, I can also un-learn that trait. There wasn't some precipitating event for trying to learn to speak in a softer tone. Over the last month or so I have just become more aware of how loud I sometimes speak compared to others around me. And so today, as I was doing vision/hearing screenings, I decided that I was going to try speak in a softer tone. It seemed like a fun challenge for today. It is taking a concerted effort on my part to remember to speak more quietly, but I'm up for trying it out for a few days. We'll see how it goes and if anyone notices.

PS Yes, my hearing is perfectly OK and not the reason for my loud-talking.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

An Evening with Kate

The boys left for deer camp yesterday. Katelyn didn't have any plans with friends and I finally didn't have some sort of meeting that kept me from getting home before 8 p.m., so we decided to go see a movie. Katelyn had previously expressed interest in seeing Footloose and since it was not on the boys' "must see" list, going to see Footloose was exactly what Kate and I did last night.

It was a fun night together. We sang out loud the title song when it played in the opening scene. We giggled at the same parts and shifted uncomfortably in our seats at the same time during the "sexed up" scenes (I say "sexed up" compared to the original version). She wouldn't let me take a picture of us together because she said she takes terrible pictures, but I submit to you this picture as evidence that she exaggerates her inability to look good in pictures...


The photo she picked to go in the yearbook.
Photo by Randi Brunt



Today as I thought about our night out last night I realized that our relationship is starting to slowly shift to a different level. Up until now our relationship has really been parent/child but last night it started to feel like a little bit more like friend. I'm not sure that "friend" is exactly the right word but that is the best that I can come up with right now. I know that I will always be her parent and I will always be here to give guidance and advice, but I think now she is close to the time of her life where she learns to fly on her own. I wish I could describe the change I am feeling in a better way, but maybe some parent of grown children can help fill in the gaps of what I am trying to say.

Anyway, it was a fun night and I'm glad that I was able to spend it with Kate.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Homecoming 2011


Katelyn was asked to Homecoming this year. You have no idea how relieved I was when she was asked. The fact that she didn't get asked to any formal dances last year and was only asked to this year's Homecoming 2 weeks before the dance, brought back all of my old anxieties from my high school years. I never got asked to the dances. I only went to a few (3 or 4)  formal dances in high school because I asked the guy. I was crushed. Those feelings of "What's wrong with me?" actually lingered for quite awhile after high school, even though I got married just a year after graduating.

I certainly didn't want to project those feelings on to Katelyn and make her feel that something was wrong with her since she didn't get asked to any dances last year. So I tried not to make a big deal out of things when the dances came and went. That also meant that I didn't ask Katelyn how she was feeling about things. But this year was different. A couple of days before she was asked to Homecoming I asked her how she was feeling about not getting asked to a dance. She said, "It's no big deal. I don't ever get asked any way." I was crushed because I could tell by the tone of voice that it was a big deal and it did bother her. I wanted so bad to take that hurt away.

So, yes, I was so relieved when she was asked. And she was absolutely delighted, thrilled, excited, and almost every other positive adjective you can think of.

And wasn't she beautiful on Homecoming night?

Saturday, October 8, 2011

How to Decorate a Curio Cabinet

I have been informed by two of my loyal blog readers that I have not been doing a very good job at keeping up with my blog posts. Apparently they feel that some important happenings have been left undocumented. In order to remedy this, today I will share with you a blog post on decorating.

When Grandma Carol passed away a few weeks ago, David and Carson were called upon to help clear out her apartment. Their efforts were rewarded with one remarkably inappropriate family heirloom and one nice curio cabinet. As long as the family heirloom keeps its barrel on, it is OK and sits on the barrister chest in our kitchen. The curio cabinet was tucked away in a corner of the living room with the thought that I would, at some point in time, fill it up with treasures.

Last Sunday, Carson decided that he would help with filling it with treasures. I heard him fumbling around, rearranging, and carefully placing items for most of the afternoon. I eventually got curious enough to go see what he was so busy placing in the cabinet. This was the scene in the living room...


The boy had decided that the new curio cabinet was the perfect location to display all of his Star Wars figurines and memorabilia. He managed to fill the whole cabinet and still had some things that couldn't fit. I had no idea that he had collected so many Star Wars things. This is the finished product...
Even though it wasn't what I had envisioned going in the curio cabinet, the Star Wars actions will probably stay. They will stay for a couple of reasons. I'm lazy and cheap.

I used to say that I didn't decorate because I didn't really know how to or I didn't have any ideas. Truth be told, I actually do have quite a few good ideas for home decor. I'm just too lazy to actually follow through on those ideas.I don't want to spend my time shopping around for home decor. Decorating isn't really a priority for me so I consider what I've done good enough, even though it is quite minimal.

I also don't like spending money on things that I don't feel are necessities. I realize that home decorating can be done on a budget and even inexpensively, but did you happen to catch the part about me being lazy? Usually decorating inexpensively requires shopping around at thrift stores, garage sales, clearance sales, etc. I have already established that I don't like to do that because it's not a priority and I'm too lazy to dedicate time to things that I don't consider a priority. And I am definitely too cheap to hire a decorator to make up for my lack of initiative and enthusiam regarding decorating.

So, since Carson took the initiative to fill the curio cabinet with his Stars Wars things and I'm too lazy and cheap to spend any time looking for other things to put in the cabinet, that little Star Wars shrine will probably remain intact either until Carson decides he wants those things at his own house someday or I die.

I wonder which will come first?


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

18 Years Old, Today

In the past 18 years, this cute little baby...



has grown into this beautiful young woman...

She's pretty dang awesome.
Instead of me listing why I think she is awesome,
if you know her,
please leave a comment
on why you think she is awesome.

Happy Birthday my sweet Kate.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

What You Can't Do Without Parent Permission when You are 17 years and 361 days old

Katelyn has known since she was 12 years old that she could get her ears pierced any time she wanted. She gets terrible anxiety just thinking about getting her ears pierced. It probably has to do with hearing my ear-piercing story one too many times. Her father's rendition of the ear-piercing scene in Parent Trap also was overwhelming for her and not the least bit comforting. So she has just avoided this rite of passage. Up until last night that is.

Last night her best friend texted her and said "I get off at 7. Do you want to finally go get your ears pierced?" I should mention that this friend has a bucket list of things for Katelyn to do--ear-piercing, having a smoothie from Jamba Juice, things of that nature. Anyway, Katelyn texted back, "Sure." Since Dave, Carson and I were heading out to the Homecoming football game, we thought it would be a good thing for her to do with her friend. The only caution I gave her was to think carefully about the ear rings she picked because she would have to wear them for 6 weeks without changing them.

About half-time, Dave gets a phone call from Katelyn. Apparently minors can't get any piercings done without a parent being present. I should have been more sympathetic, but I started laughing as soon as I heard her predicament. She begged and pleaded for Dave to come to the mall and sign the form. Dave quickly handed me the phone, stating "I'm too much of a softy. You talk to her." I told her there was no way I was coming to the mall. She asked me to give the phone back to Dave so she could talk to him again. I did and surprise of all surprises, Dave stuck to his guns and said he wasn't going to make it to the mall. I did tell her before I handed the phone back to Dave that I would be glad to take her the next day (today) to get her ears pierced.

So today was the day. Katelyn and I returned to the shop she was at last night. One of the girls that was working today, was working last night and remembered Katelyn. Katelyn picked out a nice pair of CZ ear rings and prepared for the gun.

Oh, I need to interrupt here and say that her friend managed to convince her to get her ears pierced by telling her that at this shop they put a numbing cream on your ears and you don't feel a thing. Story continues...

So Katelyn is sitting in the chair and asks about the numbing cream. The ear piercing lady said that they don't use the cream for ears because it doesn't make any difference. Katelyn just about called it quits right then, but the lady did a pretty good job at letting her know everything would be alright. She then proceeds with cleaning Katelyn's ear lobes and drawing the location dots on her lobes.

So far, so good. The lady calls over another girl to come and help so that they could do both ears at once. I know they could tell Katelyn was nervous and wanted to do both ears at the same time to get it over with. Well, now Katelyn is saying "I don't think I can do this. I really don't think I can do this." The store is starting to fill with customers and the ear-piercing ladies are getting a little frustrated. They put both guns up to Katelyn's ears and...



She pulls away and covers her ears. Ugh!

The ladies say that they will give us a minute and will wait on the other customers. Poor Kate is almost in tears at this point and feels bad because she knows we can't get our money back. I told her it was OK and that if she wanted to leave she could. She kind-of gathered herself together and I let her just sit and calm down.

While she was sitting, I causually walked up to the counter and asked the ladies if they couldn't please just put some numbing cream (or a placebo for all I cared) on her ears. I told them that really would make all the difference for her. One of the ladies finished up with her customer and put some cream on Kate's ears.

Holy cow, once that cream was on (still not sure if it was the real stuff or not), Kate, while not completely comfortable, was at least able to count them down and followed through on getting her ears pierced. It was over before she could even blink.

Yay!

She did say after we left the store how embarrassing her level of anxiety and refusal to let them pierce her ears was. I just agreed and said she needs to retrain her brain and find some better coping skills.

I took her out for a celebration lunch after that.