One of the responsibilities of my job is to be a member of the district's crisis team.
I have been called out twice this year.
Today was the 2nd call.
A senior at University High School died sometime during Friday night.
Sometimes it is hard to watch people grieve.
It is even harder when you know there isn't a dang thing you can do to "fix" things.
It's also hard when you can't answer the "Why?"
Because all you know is that she died during her sleep.
Accepting the death of a friend,
who died without any apparent rhyme or reason,
Is hard.
But at some point in time, you do have to accept the death.
You have to be prepared to move forward.
You have to recognize that there will always be a hole,
but that time will create a scar across that hole.
You have to find a way to strengthen your heart,
in spite of the scar.
You have to develop resilience.
One of the hardest things for me today
Was realizing that I don't think these kids
have the skills necessary for resiliency.
I wondered if, in our attempts to encourage,
"Use your words" instead of displaying anger, frustration, disappointment, etc.
We have not allowed our children the room
to experience real emotion
and learn effective ways to
deal with emotion.
I wondered if the helicopter parenting
Has stunted the emotional growth of this generation.
I wondered if our insistence that
every mean word or every name called
is bullying
and all bullying must be reported
because kids can't be expected to react appropriately
or efficiently solve the problem.*
I wondered if anyone else has ever had the same observations or thoughts?
Am I unbelievably calloused and uncaring?
I don't want to seem uncaring
Because I actually care quite a bit.
I want to make sure we are helping our children how to be resilient.
*I don't think it is ever said out loud that students can't effectively, efficiently, and appropriately solve the bullying problem, but that seems to be the message that is sent when every bullying awareness program preaches "Report bullying."
1 comment:
I think you are very perceptive. When we insulate children from honest experience, they loose a very effective teacher. We grow stronger from working against resistance - whether that is more weight, better opponents, harder tests, more complicated ideas - or learning that loss is a real part of life. The children can only learn to deal with loss when they can experience it - and learn that as painful as loss is, you can survive it, grow stronger and move forward. They are fortunate to have you on their team.
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